Hawaii – where I started, where it ended

As ironic as it sounds, I literally went around the world in 4 months, not just physically, but I saw it happening all inside me. After we left Japan, we headed to our last port for a day, which would be Hilo, Big Island, Hawaii. However, we stopped for almost a day in Honolulu to fill up gas. We were not able to get out since we were studying for finals, but it did not stop me from looking out in the deck and seeing my beautiful home.

For the first time, I missed Hawaii. Not that I never loved Hawaii, but I never saw Hawaii with the eyes I did that day. When I was looking at Diamond Head from a far, which is so close to my house, I smiled inside. I was back to my comfort zone and it felt good. Everything that I have built on my own is there. Everything that I have accomplished and done, I thank that island, that took me in as one of the locals, allowing me to call it home; and I missed it.

Being right there, and not being able to go home and visit my friends was a torture. But I definitely enjoyed looking out to that familiar horizon, and remembering that 4 months before that, I was looking at the same horizon and wondering how my life would be after this trip – and there I was, inside the ship, with the same question in my mind. Will I ever be able to answer it?

We left to Hilo, and my heart felt a bittersweet feeling of leaving. I knew I would be back soon, but it would not be on those same conditions.

Hilo was also a bittersweet feeling, where I had the most fun I possibly could with my friends, where we enjoyed the beach where our local friend took us, ate poke again which I also missed, enjoyed the water and danced our butts off.

The time to get back on the ship was the hardest. Everyone looked like they were going back from a funeral. The vibe definitely changed on the ship, and for some reason I was still trying to deny that was it. The next time I would go down those stairs would be without a next port to look forward to.

Hawaii – onde eu comecei, onde terminou.

Por mais irónico que apareça, eu literalmente viajei ao redor do mundo em 4 meses, não somente fisicamente, mas eu vi tudo acontecendo dentro de mim. Depois que eu saí do Japão, nos fomos para o nosso último porto por um dia, que foi Hilo, Big Island, Hawaii. Mas, paramos em Honolulu para abastecer. Não podíamos sair pois estávamos estudando para as provas finais, mas não me deixou de observar do lado de fora a minha linda casa.

Pela primeira vez, eu senti saudade do Hawaii. Não que eu não amasse o Hawaii, mas eu nunca vi a ilha com os olhos que eu olhei aquele dia. Quando eu estava olhando para Diamond Head de longe, que é perto da minha casa, eu sorri por dentro. Eu estava de volta a minha área de conforto e me senti bem. Tudo que eu construí sozinha estava ali. Tudo que eu conquistei e foz, eu agradeço aquela ilha, que me adotou como um de seus locais, permitindo-me chama-la de casa; e eu estava com saudade.

Estando ali, e não poder ir para casa visitar os meus amigos foi uma tortura. Mas eu definitivamente gostei de ter observado aquele horizonte familiar, e me lembrar que 4 meses atrás eu estava olhando para aquele mesmo horizonte e pesando como a minha vida seria depois dessa viagem – e ali estava eu, dentro do navio, com a mesma questão. Será que um dia poderei responde-la?

Fomos embora para Hilo, e o meu coração sentiu o gosto doce e azedo de estar indo embora. Eu sabia que eu iria voltar logo, mas não seria naquelas mesmas condições.

Hilo também teve esse gosto, onde eu me diverti o máximo possível com meus amigos na praia que a nossa amiga local nos levou. Comemos poke, que eu estava com saudade, e ainda dançamos o dia todo.

A hora de voltar para o navio foi a pior parte. Todos pareciam que estavam indo para um funeral. A vibe definitivamente mudou dentro do navio, e por alguma razão, eu ainda estava tentando fugir da realidade que ali era o final. A próxima vez que eu descesse aquelas escadarias, seria para não voltar a outra porto

Categories: Hawaii | 1 Comment

Post navigation

One thought on “Hawaii – where I started, where it ended

  1. Graham

    This was great thanks for sharing. Its amazing how you can want to travel around the world and experience so many unique things and yet you long to be home, among the places and people you know. I feel that will always be a struggle and finding the right balance will be important as we continue to travel. I miss you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com. The Adventure Journal Theme.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: